El viaje

“I will not bias your mind by suggesting theories or suspicions, Watson. I wish you simply to report facts in the fullest possible manner to me, and you can leave me to do the theorizing.” said the best of the best in The Hound of the Baskervilles. So, i shall follow his advice.

After some well deserved and very fine but not so yummy dining (and drinking) Lu and i met our old friend Hugo. Hugo just came back from the North, were he is hunting for land on (or in) which to mine emeralds. So apart from seeing each other again, we had additional reason to celebrate since it seems he has found it.

Not being able to move much the next day, we had a good rest, a lot of stories to tell , so we stayed in our airbnb and i made Spaghetti Aglio e Olio.

(do not mind the pomodori, they were an add on)

As we have learned in Guatemala Hugo always comes bearing gifts, this time around some proper (and most welcome) Guatemalan Chiltepe and some nice but very potent oil.

Thanks brother, it was very good to see you !

Well rested, both physically and mentally after such a good visit we were ready to take on Bogotá again.

The very best place to do so is Ziads house. And this time finally we got to meet his lovely wife Helena. And the the two rascal kids! We were supposed to go there and immediately head on to the nearby park but since Helena has just as much energy as Ziad, which in itself is an absurd statement but nevertheless true, we got stuck telling stories and getting to know eachother.

Her being a mere goldsmith and artist is a rough understatement since they run the special effects business together. Also she likes to blow things up just as much as her husband does. And even without their love for explosives, these four are pure dynamite.

Here is some of their work:

The fateful decision to go and walk their dog Mila changed the course of events. Ziad and i headed out and decided to go and check on Jim, who was parked a 10 minute walk away from their house.

This is what we found:

Basically every part that was somewhat easily accessible was scraped of the poor lad.

Yes, we were warned by many, especially Federico, about leaving a car parked in Bogotá. Yes, we could have been more careful. Yes, the mecánico was pissed after we refused his initial (and absurdly high) offer.

But in our defense,the mecánico did tell us he would watch the car.And the last 16 or so days we saw the majority of the country without a second of a pause. We had been towed, twice, with a breakdown of the towing truck,which made us sleep in unnamed villages and on the side of the road. We simply and utterly did not have the force left in us to visit 10 different mecánicos, getting offers after the 20 hours drive from Neiva to Bogotá.

Usually we would not admit it, but this time we really needed a break.

We decided not to blame Bogotá, nor us, for the state of affairs and went for a very nice walk with the family.

(Also it was a sunny sunday and there was not much to be done anyhows)

The problem was to be tackled the next day. But first we Lu and i had to go to a Dua Lipa concert… Let me put it this way, she is playing, we are in Bogotá and we do everything we can anyway.

Also you have to „Know your enemy“ as RATM so wisely stated

The latin crowd went ballistic every time she moved her hip and lacking any noticeable singing or dancing skills, she did so every two seconds. Combine that with a couple of brainlessly spastic looking tick tock moves to repeat by her equally brainless fans and you got yourself a fine concert. Certainly not a highlight of our trip, but well worth the atmosphere. To put it as mildly as i can.

A new day and a big task ahead. Helena knowing basically every second mecánico and or tienda in the area where Jim was dismantled , she was the best ally we could wish for. Luckily, she and Ziad offered their help.

At coffee in the morning Ziad said that he thinks the car could be entirely gone by the time we get there. And his intuition was spot on. This is what we found:

The only thing left were the bricks on which our old friend rested on for his last miserable hours.

Me, somewhat relieved that our problem was now „solved“, immediately regretted my foolish notion because i realized i did not even hold a little piece of him as a reminder of our strenuous journey or our countless battles..

But Helena was only getting started. Her investigation started by the „man“ on the corner who gave her the hint that the police might just be involved, a tad.

So she disappeared around the corner, leaving the three Watsons (Lu,Ziad&Jojo) , cluelessly debating.

30 mintues or so later Ziads phone rang, Helenas orders to follow her to the next „police station“ , were being passed down. We complied instantly.

We went there and to our surprise

The police had „towed“. The car there. They also told us that they broke the car open in order to do so. We had one , extremely nervous, bald policeman who was not comfortable with us appearing there at all.

I will not bore you with all stages of our investigative findings but it turned out that the police where present when the wheels were being removed from Jim. They knew all along and (i now shall leave the theorizing to you) might just be in on it.

The problem that i am facing is. The car itself you cannot „save“ in its current state without spending a lot of money. Our temporary importation will run out in 2 months. Then , being in Colombia, nothing will happen since the state or police will just have the right to confiscate the vehicle. So no harm done. But if we sell the car for scraps,the chassis number will still be intact and will still be connected to my name. You see the potential for mischief here.

The police unwilling to write a statement that the car was moved by them or had been tempered with, gave us enough reason to remove the chassis number in the front (at least). Just to give us options. The bombastic team in action.

What followed was a collection of clues and proof that i am the actual owner. Which brought me in the possession of the, previously wished for, heirloom that i shall cherish as a memory until the end of my days.

In order to make the whole thing legal we had to go to the D.I.A.N. office. Unfortunately the Dirección de Impuestos y Aduanas Nacinales has more than one office in Bogotá. And the telephone number on my offical importation papers is not in use..

Helena and i started zig zagging through the city to the different DIAN offices just to be sent away to the next one that could possibly be in charge of our needs. Thats when you realize why things are the way they are in countries like Colombia. Nobody is responsible, nobody knows who is responsible and going the offical way is tedious, does not bare any fruits and makes you feel like an idiot. Especially since you ,more or less , have proof that it was actually the police that oversaw the crime.

A long story short. We spend hours to get the chassis number officially deattached from my name. Helena in full effort to do so for this entire time.After being sent away several times, after being to a couple of different places and the sun going down we eventually gave up.

And i can tell you one thing. If this women can not sort something out in this city, it is impossible to do so.

We will reevaluate today.

My preferred option is to flex the remaining chassis number out of the car (which is the only remaining proof liking me to him ), sell the rest of the parts for a very attractive price to the local gangster mechanics and stop being a burden to our fellow detectives.

Thanks Helena and Ziad, without you the entire thing would have taken countless hours (or days ) longer and we would probably also would have had to pay for the crooked police tow… Also, see you in a bit!

So the case is not solved, yet.

Let me finish by my favorite Sherlock quote.

“How often have I said to you
that when you have
eliminated the impossible,
whatever remains, however
improbable, must be the truth?”